I dont know how else to live. Its not fun to feel like this. I hate it. It hurts inside. But you dont know because I cant talk about it. I wish I could show you how I feel, but I cant. Its not that easy, Ive turned into well I guess you could say the real me. It doesnt show on the outisde so you dont really understand what Im talking about. I shouldnt be around anyone when Im mysllef. I might hurt someone. I guess you can say the real me lives on the dark site. The light side was burned in flames and now there is nothing left. Its ok though because I knew this would happen. Im sick of this. I hate my life.
You say you will always come back to me and I know its true but i’m sorry to say I will never come back for you, this mistakes I made will brand me for life and I must accept my consequences no matter how difficult they may be. You probably don’t understand, I wouldn’t expect you to, I’m living the life I was taught to. Make mistakes, pay the consequences, walk away, no emotions and no apologies. That is what I’m taught to do. I don’t know what else there is but this si the life I lead even though I love you. I do what I can to survive.
Sometimes I lay in my bed at night
unable to sleep
I just lay there staring out at the moon and the stars
thinking how could the world be this bad
but then I glance up at my wall and see the picture of you
a smile flashes across my face
even if that smile only lasts a few seconds
I know its there
because with the whole world leading me down
your the only thing that can bring me back up
I sit and watch, they scream out in torment as they spiral rapidly to the ground sparking along the way. and for some reason I feel a pain i cannot handle much more of, and though I dont want to say it, I know what it is, I just sit there and think to myself… … … I miss you.