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I park my car and walk inside
The elevator stops on the third floor
I have another appointment
everything was fine at first
but then I had to tell her
I didnt want to but I had no choice
ashamed of myself, head hanging low
I told her what happened
“I did it again. I started again”
she gave me that look of disappointment
I wanted to cry but I stayed strong
“Do I have to go back?, please don’t make me go again, I cant take another trip”
She nodded her head
“You need help, you have to get through this”
my body became numb
my heart was shattered
I knew this would happen
She called the ambulance that would take me
great, just what I need, another hospital
I was told to go to the padded room in ER
a very familiar place to me
I wasn’t allowed on my own from that point
I waited for my security guard to come
He came up to the third floor
we walked to the elevator
I sat and the corner and began to cry
how could I do this to myself, what was I thinking
as the elevator dropped, I felt my life drop too
back into the hold it once lived in
I thought about my past and my future
and as the elevator door opened I stood up and said
“I know i need to get help and this time I will get it”